Ernie Shmouse failed to get into medical school, so despite deep ideological opposition, he attended a school for naturopathic medicine, and became a bored, certified ND.
“My doctor says I have gallstones, and that I should have surgery,” Tabitha said, “but I just don’t believe in surgery.”
“Sure. Surgery,” Ernie drew air quotes.
“What?”
“It doesn’t exist.”
“What?”
“Anyway, I have some snake oil for gallstones. Eat nothing but apples for five days, and then drink lots of lemon juice mixed with olive oil. You’ll be cured after your morning tinkle. Or maybe you won’t, and you really just need surgery.”
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